Post #11

I don't think anybody new has been to my site for awhile. Still only 16 hits to my profile, I should get a general hit counter, but I don't know where, and I don't have the energy to find out tonight. I can't remember the last book I finished, I guess it was For Whom the Bell Tolls or Waiting for Godot, one of those. I'm slowly making my way through Kafka's diaries, I think they're poorly translated, but to find out and read them in German would be too much like homework. I really ought to read more often, it is stupid to play computer games instead. Now it's Fallout 2, before that Mech Commander 2, and I just brought Baldur's Gate 2 and Arcanum out of storage at my parent's place. I have a wall of books, compared to which I am only very small, and to apply what powers I have to them would be the very best thing, but instead I waste my free time, if with nothing else then with idle fantasy: I'm going to learn German, I'm going to write a thesis, I'm going to get all As, I'm going to travel; or: Civilization 4 needs more resources, and if only we could trade arms, and is it just me or do all the AI players follow basically the same track, it is almost there but it needs...etc.

What, afterall, is easier than picking up a book and reading for an hour or two?

Tommorow night is Nosferatu with the score by a live orchestra, at least that's something great. And I intend to stay on campus and do homework until it starts. If one pays attention, one finds that somedays one is more oneself, as though I were alone in my bathtub watching a large black spider on the wall, and somedays one exists not so much mechanically as like a reflection: just another person in the eyes of all those other people. Somebody, a stranger, might speak to me then, and I would just answer satisfactorily, like he would have answered too.